I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
