i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
