Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
