you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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