I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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