I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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