i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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