he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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