So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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