Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
