btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
