Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
