Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I could make wine with my vomit
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
