You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
