I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
