My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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