Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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