The maid of honor just puked.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
