I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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