Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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