fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
