She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
