Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
