..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
