got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
