I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize