There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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