I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
