I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
