And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
