Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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