I got chris browned last night
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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