bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
