I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
