my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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