Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
