Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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