Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize