I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
