so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Come see our sink grown plant.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
