so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
