I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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