I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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