we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she peed on how many people?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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