you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
