She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dicks are not precious.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
