Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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