Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
