Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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