Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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