Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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