he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
