he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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