He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
