He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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