Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
