Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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