Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize