no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
