oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
