she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
