Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
