Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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