hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
